“A Better You” Your 7 days program to self-improvement

I seem to lost count on how many times I’ve read and heard of celebrity marriages failing almost left and right. Not that I care (and personally I don’t), it seems strange that we often see movie and TV stars as flawless people, living the fairytale life of riches and glamour. I suppose we all have to stop sticking our heads in the clouds and face reality.

There are many ways to lose your sense of self-esteem despite of how trivial it could get. But whatever happens, we should all try not to lose our own sense of self.

So what does it take to be a cut above the rest? Here are some of the things you can think and improve on that should be enough for a week.

1. Know your purpose
Are you wandering through life with little direction - hoping that you’ll find happiness, health and prosperity? Identify your life purpose or mission statement and you will have your own unique compass that will lead you to your truth north every time.

This may seem tricky at first when you see yourself to be in a tight or even dead end. But there’s always that little loophole to turn things around and you can make a big difference to yourself.

2. Know your values
What do you value most? Make a list of your top 5 values. Some examples are security, freedom, family, spiritual development, learning. As you set your goals for 2005 - check your goals against your values. If the goal doesn’t align with any of your top five values - you may want to reconsider it or revise it.

The number shouldn’t discourage you, instead it should motivate you to do more than you can ever dreamed of.

3. Know your needs
Unmet needs can keep you from living authentically. Take care of yourself. Do you have a need to be acknowledged, to be right, to be in control, to be loved? There are so many people who lived their lives without realizing their dreams and most of them end up being stressed or even depressed for that matter. List your top four needs and get them met before it’s too late!

4. Know your passions
You know who you are and what you truly enjoy in life. Obstacles like doubt and lack of enthusiasm will only hinder you, but will not derail your chance to become the person you ought to be. Express yourself and honor the people who has inspired you to become the very person you wanted to be.

5. Live from the inside out
Increase your awareness of your inner wisdom by regularly reflecting in silence. Commune with nature. Breathe deeply to quiet your distracted mind. For most of us city slickers it’s hard to even find the peace and quiet we want even in our own home. In my case I often just sit in a dimly lit room and play some classical music. There’s sound, yes, but music does soothe the savage beast.

6. Honor your strengths
What are your positive traits? What special talents do you have? List three - if you get stuck, ask those closest to you to help identify these. Are you imaginative, witty, good with your hands? Find ways to express your authentic self through your strengths. You can increase your self-confidence when you can share what you know to others.

7. Serve others
When you live authentically, you may find that you develop an interconnected sense of being. When you are true to who you are, living your purpose and giving of your talents to the world around you, you give back in service what you came to share with others -your spirit - your essence. The rewards for sharing your gift with those close to you is indeed rewarding, much more if it were to be the eyes of a stranger who can appreciate what you have done to them.

Self-improvement is indeed one type of work that is worth it. It shouldn’t always be within the confines of an office building, or maybe in the four corners of your own room. The difference lies within ourselves and how much we want to change for the better.

How to Become Inspired to Be Creative

Many people aspire to become creative, or at the most enhance their creative streak. But they do not know how to go about this. Well, research has indicated that it is not enough to have a certain talent (or “genius”) – you must also have the inclination to be dedicated and persistent at honing that talent. So those people who seem to be fountains of creativity actually have to work hard at being creative.

What then should be done if you want to enhance your creativity?

First, make a comprehensive definition of the problem at hand, if it is possible. This opens up a world of possibilities for you (rather than confining yourself to a narrow definition of the problem which would restrict the possible answers you could come up with.)

Second, if you want to be creative, then develop an atmosphere of creativity. This means hanging around creativity-minded individuals. There is proof that creative people react in unique, natural and inventive ways when they are surrounded by like-minded people. This principle is the foundation of teaching music, dance and theater.

Next, permit yourself time to cocoon yourself in the problem. Do not try to pressure yourself to solve a problem since this makes the well of inspiration run dry after a couple of tries. Do another task if you feel up to it then turn back to the original problem. You will find that you will be more up to the task than if you had forced yourself at the beginning.

Fourth, try to get a range of input instead of focusing on what seems logical at the time. Creativity does demand a diverse range of thought so try to look for more areas of mental input than what you commonly would seek. Acting this way may release a geyser of new ideas.

Fifth, seek comparisons between the new problem and previous problems. You may find that the new problem seems to be a lot like the old problems you came across before.

Last, try not to evaluate the answers you come up with until you have exhausted the range of ideas and solutions that crop up. When your first concern is whether the solution is apt, your creativity tends to be inhibited.

What will probably happen if you follow this list of suggestions is that you will come up with various solutions to your problem. Some will be rather offbeat while others are pretty standard fare. The important thing is that you let the well of creativity overflow so that you will have more choices to pick an answer from.

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Motivation for Mediocrity

Do we, as a society, motivate for true success? Or do we motivate just to get by? In your job, are you motivated to be above average or just to keep off the bosses “naughty list”? One more question: Why do we motivate ourselves, our employees, even our children for mediocrity?
The following are four suggestions to fly higher than mediocrity.
1. Always go farther.
What ever is asked of you or whatever your responsibility is, do more than you are ever expected.

2. Share the praise.
Remember, whatever success or victory you experience, you do NOT experience alone. There are others that help you get to where you strive to be. Always share the praise. That will raise you above mediocrity. Mediocrity will covet the praise and horde it like a child snatches the last piece of candy so no one else will get it.

3. Ask for more.
When you do experience a victory and are pulling away from mediocrity, do not hang up your efforts. Ask for more. Or find more to do. This will set yourself apart from the mediocre crowd.

4. Treat others nice.
Always remember how you would like to be treated by others. Take that thought and treat others the same way. This is also the Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Great rule. Live by it. It’s a principle that is anything but mediocre.
Follow the above four tactics and you’ll find yourself flying high above the mediocre mindset.
Just remember when you’re training for a job, raising your children or preparing you mind for any task, mediocre is so average. Do you want to be just average?

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The Value of Affirmations to Boosting Self-Esteem

Boosting your self-esteem may be done in a variety of ways; from buying brand new shoes, changing your hairstyle, or helping an elderly cross the street. These matters usually come subjectively, as you personally give yourself affirmations for the little things you have done. Affirmations boost your self-esteem as they give you a sense of value and approval in yourself and the things that you do.

Affirmations are usually brief encouraging statements that you repeat over and over to yourself, which positively affect your psyche and boost your self-esteem. Affirmations may come from other people, when they give you compliments for making a sumptuous dinner or praise you for babysitting their two little boys over the weekend.

You can give yourself affirmations each day at any time to increase your self-esteem. It is a powerful tool, especially as you face new activities and stress. It enables you to manage tasks at a steady and controlled pace.

How do affirmations work?

1. Select your own affirmation. It could be something like, “I, Sarah, have great hair!” or “I, Greg, skipped that chocolate cookie and feel great!” or “I, Anne, look good in these tight jeans!” It’s best that you say your affirmations in front of the mirror as you repeat the sentence five to six times. Do this every morning as you wash your face or brush your teeth and every evening again as you repeat your routine. Stick with your affirmation for a month before moving on to another one.

Some other ways of saying affirmations are: (These are said while looking in the mirror)

“You approve of yourself.”
“You, David, approve of yourself.”
“I, George, approve of myself.”
“Randolph approves of himself.”

2. Choose one to a few friends whom you can exchange affirmations with whenever you meet. The good thing about this is they get to boost your confidence while you also increase theirs. Giving compliments is the most common form of this type of affirmation exchange. Sometimes you don’t have to coordinate with someone to pay you a compliment in return. Try praising someone about his new shirt or how good she is at badminton. You’ll soon realize affirmations from other people will just come naturally.

3. Make a list about the stuff you’re good at and a list of stuff you can’t change. Remember that you can be great at some things, but there are always matters that you can’t resolve or improve — so don’t fret trying to change. Instead, embrace and accept them because they are a part of you.

List all your talents and favorite activities, like singing, writing or cheering for a favorite band, because these can give your affirmations, from yourself and from others. You can always be good at doing something that you love. As for the stuff you can’t change, like your eye color or height, try to work around them and, instead, accentuate the areas with clothes or colors that bring out your best features.

The point is, you should give yourself affirmations in every aspect of your daily life, and may it be physical, mental, or social. You’ll appreciate yourself more in the process and boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Winning the Rat Race: Surviving Stress

Today’s world is all about instant gratification and moving forward at a dizzying pace, and this can wreak havoc on your health. You dare not get left behind, and in your rush to catch the train or meet the deadline, your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing suffers. Sound familiar?

Though short-term stress is quite healthy and necessary to stimulate your immune system, chronic, or long-term, stress does just the opposite. Your adrenal glands release stress hormones—cortisol in particular—during taxing situations and cortisol is responsible for kicking the immune system into high gear. But when you are bombarded with stress on a continual basis, the body develops a resistance to cortisol and the immune system stops responding, leaving you vulnerable to all sorts of stress-related health problems.

The best way to counter these ill effects is to get enough rest. It is through adequate sleep (at least seven hours every night) that the rising levels of cortisol in the body can be kept in check.

Know when to give yourself a break. At the rate you’re going, you’ll work yourself right into the grave. No one will hold it against you for wanting to take a breather. Do it deeply—not just regular respiration, but actually savoring every breath. Utilize your diaphragm rather than your lungs, and count four to five seconds while inhaling through your nose, and another four to five seconds exhaling through your mouth. Then repeat the exercise ten times. Not only is this a great way to relax but it slows your heart rate and lessens anxiety. It also helps to lower blood pressure.

Another thing that does wonders for blood pressure is to own a pet. Having a canine or feline companion has been known to reduce stress and help overcome depression. Just make sure you’re not allergic.

Learn proper time management. Despite what you may think, there is no such thing as having no time. Everyone has it. Rather, it is how you budget your time that makes all the difference in the world. And if you believe your schedule is getting just a wee bit unmanageable, don’t be afraid to speak up and say so. Prioritize. You don’t have to say yes to every task thrown your way.

Manage your finances. It is a widely known fact that money problems equal a whole lot of stress. Save yourself (and your wallet) the heartache by reading helpful materials on the subject, like “The Six New Rules of Rich” by Oliver Broudy (Men’s Health, March 2007).

Clean up your act. Free yourself and your living space from clutter. Get rid of eyesores you’ve accumulated through the years. Give whatever you no longer need to charity.

Speaking of charity, be more involved in social or civic work. When you expose yourself to the hardships of others, your own problems will seem less burdensome and you will have more courage and energy to face them.

If it can be helped at all, try to stay away from stressful situations. You may be able to give your life some semblance of order, but outside factors could just as easily destroy what you have worked so hard to build. Keep your cool. If you find yourself losing your temper over the slightest altercation, count to ten before retaliating. This will give you time to calm down and address the problem in a more rational manner. Lessen noise. If you can’t do that, then don’t contribute to it. Avoid toxic people as their condition is highly contagious. Of course, we don’t recommend you duck under a table or run for your life each time you cross paths, but don’t allow their overanxious nature to encroach on your own unstressed disposition.

The frenetic rat race that human progress has become exacts a high price, and the finish line is as elusive as ever. But perhaps this is one race where the ideal would be to slow down.

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Laugh Your Way to the Top, and Make Others Laugh with You

Imagine a man—tall, dark, and handsome—with a dazzling smile, impeccable fashion sense, a hefty bank account, but humorless as a corpse. Alternatively, picture another, not quite as good-looking, not quite as rich, but funny as hell. Who do you think would attract more people to them if both were in the same room?

Perhaps the gorgeous guy would elicit a lot of attention at first. But good looks can only go so far in holding and keeping that attention. A great sense of humor can be a useful tool in endearing yourself to the crowd at large. It can break the ice among strangers and is a wonderful way to make friends. In some cases it can even be used as a powerful weapon. Humor, when unleashed with perfect timing, can be terribly disarming. To potential employers, it could mean a promising job offer for you. To the ladies, it is a massive turn-on, and you might as well be wearing a sign on your forehead that says, “Date me. You won’t be sorry.”

Wit is a sign of intelligence, and intelligence is very sexy and attractive. Like all other gifts and talents, however, not everyone is born with it. If you are one of the less endowed and humor-challenged, thankfully enough, there are ways to compensate. You can train yourself in the art of good humor by following these steps:

Read. Be aware of current events. Fill your head with things you can comment on, other than the weather, so that striking up a conversation wouldn’t be so daunting. Watch movies or shows with witty dialogue and commentary. Study how the actors and commentators deliver their lines. Learn from them. Do not copy them outright. Be original.

Timing is everything. Just a few seconds off and your attempt at flawless humor can get derailed in an instant. If your joke bombs, move on. Do not dwell on it. Do not prolong your agony, or worse, your listeners’ agony, by going into a lengthy dissertation about your intended punch line. Doing so will only worsen the situation and create an awkward atmosphere.

Know your crowd. Funny as you are, there is such a thing as inappropriate humor. If you’re speaking at a funeral, don’t launch into raunchy standup comic mode more fit for a stag party.

Do not resort to insulting and making fun of people as this is a surefire sign of weak humor and an even weaker mind. Unless, of course, the people in question are bumbling politicians and public figures who are just asking for it and who aren’t in any way related to any of your listeners, then by all means, fire at will. Focus on their misdeeds rather than flaws that can’t be helped. Say, “Looks like he’s winning the election. And looks like I’m moving to another country.” Don’t say, “That candidate is one ugly ^#@*!”

Be confident and be natural. Self-consciousness shows, believe it or not, and witty retorts don’t pack as much punch when you’re worrying too much about the manner of your delivery instead of just getting it out there in the open.

Practice. Stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself. Forget about looking like a fool. This is a great way to get rid of your inhibitions and get comfortable with yourself. Think of it as a rehearsal of sorts. The more you do it, the more self-assured you’ll become. Remember, confidence—like wit and intelligence—is sexy, too.

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes. Self-deprecating humor is actually quite charming and you can never go wrong with putting yourself down every once in a while. Use your common sense though. Don’t ruin the moment by saying something like, “I wet my bed till I was fifteen. Isn’t that funny?”

It is mentioned in the Koran, “He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.” We’re not promising you paradise, but at least it’s a start.

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How to Achieve a “Be Happy” Attitude in Nine Easy Steps

Everyone is always in pursuit of happiness. Maybe you have traveled far in seeking happiness, believing that it is to be found in the mountains of Tibet, when actually, it is within your reach. Below are some tips that will surely help you develop a happy attitude and see the true meaning of happiness.Realize Your Worth. Realize that you are just as important as any other person around. You are not just a tiny speck in this universe. Having a healthy self confidence and self worth makes you aware of your purpose in life. Once you know your life’s purpose, it will give you a sense of direction, which helps you sort out your life, and would eventually lead to contentment.

Find Contentment. Not settling for less is not a bad thing, but while you are on your journey in reaching your goals, don’t forget to be thankful for what you have now. Counting your blessings helps you to put things in perspective. A lot of people go through life wanting things, not knowing that it’s not the Lexus or the Rolex that will make one happy. See where the important things in life lie: your friends and family.Do the Things You Love. Doing the things you love would be sure to keep you in high spirits. Make it a point to treat yourself to doing the things you enjoy the most. It can be dancing, writing or catching the latest movie. No matter what it is, don’t stop yourself from enjoying life once in a while. Keep in mind that happiness is found in pure things. If your brand of indulgence involves waking up to a hangover or to being jittery and in need of your next “dose,” then you better ask yourself if that is the kind of “happiness” you want for yourself.

Take Time to Help. They say that “He who refreshes others, refreshes himself.” Helping doesn’t necessarily mean giving people stuff. Helping out may be as simple as providing a shoulder to cry on, or squeezing the hand of someone in distress. The best way to be happy is to make others so.Be with Happy People. Being with happy people surely does wonders for you. Being surrounded with lighthearted people helps you absorb their positive energy.Be Optimistic. Keeping a positive attitude towards life is a prime characteristic you must possess to achieve happiness. Teach yourself to be happy. The potential to be happy is in everybody, you just need to know how to bring it out in you. According to Psychologist Martin Seligman, each of us has the power to bring in real joy into our lives. Therefore, it is our choice to be happy or to wallow in loneliness and discontent. Be Thankful. Recognizing the people you have in your life makes you realize just how good life is. Just looking at your family and set of friends and knowing you have them through thick and thin are already reasons enough for you to be happy. You never have to look too far to find the happiness you’re searching for, because it is actually inside you. Your state of mind is the yardstick of just how happy you’ll be.

Live in the Present. If you keep on replaying your past, you will never get to enjoy the present. How can you move forward if you still keep looking back? Forget the painful things that happened in the past. Learn from them, but don’t let them hold you back from happiness.

Love Unconditionally. Nothing beats love in terms of giving joy. But “love” is not restricted to romantic love, it also involves the love of friends and family. Love is a a balm to the wounds of the soul. Unconditional love, they say, is the best kind of love anyone can give or receive. It is the kind of love where you expect nothing in return. Giving love unconditionally is hard, giving man’s bent to be self-centered. But do get altruistic sometimes. When you give, out of the abundance of your heart, when you move from the mental frame of giving instead of getting, it is when you will realize that life is sweet, after all.After all is said and done, remember, happiness is a state of mind.

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Happiness is Under Your Feet

Where are you looking for happiness?

Are you working hard to create a bright future? Do you believe that you can’t be happy, unless this future becomes a living reality?

Do you believe that happiness comes after a long period of suffering?

Attention, my friend. You are depriving yourself from happiness.

Here is an astonishing fact:

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.” – J. Robert Oppenheimer

You are the one who has the power to grow happiness in your life. Happiness is a choice not a result. You choose to be happy.

I want you to do this simple exercise. Think about 10 things that you are most grateful for in your life.

How do you feel?

Life is not too bad, right?!

The negative circumstances have the power to dominate your thoughts and make you feel that everything in life is bad. It hinders you from creating happiness in your life. You always feel like you shouldn’t be happy, right now, just because your ideal future is not manifested.

Choose to be happy now. Here is another exercise.

Smile!! Yes, I mean it. Smile

How do you feel?

Do you want another exercise? OK, here it is…

Look at a picture of a smiling baby, or listen to a baby when he laughs.

How do you feel?

My friend, happiness is under your feet. Choose to be happy, now!

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The Key to a Better Life

Time management is basically about being focused. The Pareto Principle also known as the ‘80:20 Rule’ states that 80% of efforts that are not time managed or unfocused generates only 20% of the desired output. However, 80% of the desired output can be generated using only 20% of a well time managed effort. Although the ratio ‘80:20′ is only arbitrary, it is used to put emphasis on how much is lost or how much can be gained with time management.

Some people view time management as a list of rules that involves scheduling of appointments, goal settings, thorough planning, creating things to do lists and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

But there is more skills involved in time management than the core basics. Skills such as decision making, inherent abilities such as emotional intelligence and critical thinking are also essential to your personal growth.

Personal time management involves everything you do. No matter how big and no matter how small, everything counts. Each new knowledge you acquire, each new advice you consider, each new skill you develop should be taken into consideration.

Having a balanced life-style should be the key result in having personal time management. This is the main aspect that many practitioners of personal time management fail to grasp.

Time management is about getting results, not about being busy.

The six areas that personal time management seeks to improve in anyone’s life are physical, intellectual, social, career, emotional and spiritual.

The physical aspect involves having a healthy body, less stress and fatigue.

The intellectual aspect involves learning and other mental growth activities.

The social aspect involves developing personal or intimate relations and being an active contributor to society.

The career aspect involves school and work.

The emotional aspect involves appropriate feelings and desires and manifesting them.

The spiritual aspect involves a personal quest for meaning.

Thoroughly planning and having a set of things to do list for each of the key areas may not be very practical, but determining which area in your life is not being giving enough attention is part of time management. Each area creates the whole you, if you are ignoring one area then you are ignoring an important part of yourself.

Personal time management should not be so daunting a task. It is a very sensible and reasonable approach in solving problems big or small.

A great way of learning time management and improving your personal life is to follow several basic activities.

One of them is to review your goals whether it be immediate or long-term goals often.

A way to do this is to keep a list that is always accessible to you.

Always determine which task is necessary or not necessary in achieving your goals and which activities are helping you maintain a balanced life style.

Each and everyone of us has a peek time and a time when we slow down, these are our natural cycles. We should be able to tell when to do the difficult tasks when we are the sharpest.

Learning to say “No”. You actually see this advice often. Heed it even if it involves saying the word to family or friends.

Pat yourself at the back or just reward yourself in any manner for an effective time management result.

Try and get the cooperation from people around you who are actually benefiting from your efforts of time management.

Don’t procrastinate. Attend to necessary things immediately.

Have a positive attitude and set yourself up for success. But be realistic in your approach in achieving your goals.

Have a record or journal of all your activities. This will help you get things in their proper perspective.

These are the few steps you initially take in becoming a well rounded individual.

As the say personal time management is the art and science of building a better life.

From the moment you integrate into your life time management skills, you have opened several options that can provide a broad spectrum of solutions to your personal growth. It also creates more doors for opportunities to knock on.

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Life Mapping: A Vision of Success

Success is more than economic gains, titles, and degrees. Planning for success is about mapping out all the aspects of your life. Similar to a map, you need to define the following details: origin, destination, vehicle, backpack, landmarks, and route.

Origin: Who you are

A map has a starting point. Your origin is who you are right now. Most people when asked to introduce themselves would say, “Hi, I’m Jean and I am a 17-year old, senior highschool student.” It does not tell you about who Jean is; it only tells you her present preoccupation. To gain insights about yourself, you need to look closely at your beliefs, values, and principles aside from your economic, professional, cultural, and civil status. Moreover, you can also reflect on your experiences to give you insights on your good and not-so-good traits, skills, knowledge, strengths, and weaknesses. Upon introspection, Jean realized that she was highly motivated, generous, service-oriented, but impatient. Her inclination was in the biological-medical field. Furthermore, she believed that life must serve a purpose, and that wars were destructive to human dignity.

Destination: A vision of who you want to be

“Who do want to be?” this is your vision. Now it is important that you know yourself so that you would have a clearer idea of who you want to be; and the things you want to change whether they are attitudes, habits, or points of view. If you hardly know yourself, then your vision and targets for the future would also be unclear. Your destination should cover all the aspects of your being: the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. Continuing Jean’s story, after she defined her beliefs, values, and principles in life, she decided that she wanted to have a life dedicated in serving her fellowmen.

Vehicle: Your Mission

A vehicle is the means by which you can reach your destination. It can be analogized to your mission or vocation in life. To a great extent, your mission would depend on what you know about yourself. Bases on Jean’s self-assessment, she decided that she was suited to become a doctor, and that she wanted to become one. Her chosen vocation was a medical doctor. Describing her vision-mission fully: it was to live a life dedicated to serving her fellowmen as a doctor in conflict-areas.

Travel Bag: Your knowledge, skills, and attitude

Food, drinks, medicines, and other travelling necessities are contained in a bag. Applying this concept to your life map, you also bring with you certain knowledge, skills, and attitudes. These determine your competence and help you in attaining your vision. Given such, there is a need for you to assess what knowledge, skills, and attitudes you have at present and what you need to gain along the way. This two-fold assessment will give you insights on your landmarks or measures of success. Jean realized that she needed to gain professional knowledge and skills on medicine so that she could become a doctor. She knew that she was a bit impatient with people so she realized that this was something she wanted to change.

Landmarks and Route: S.M.A.R.T. objectives

Landmarks confirm if you are on the right track while the route determines the travel time. Thus, in planning out your life, you also need to have landmarks and a route. These landmarks are your measures of success. These measures must be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Thus you cannot set two major landmarks such as earning a master’s degree and a doctorate degree within a period of three years, since the minimum number of years to complete a master’s degree is two years. Going back to Jean as an example, she identified the following landmarks in her life map: completing a bachelor’s degree in biology by the age of 21; completing medicine by the age of 27; earning her specialization in infectious diseases by the age of 30; getting deployed in local public hospitals of their town by the age of 32; and serving as doctor in war-torn areas by the age of 35.

Anticipate Turns, Detours, and Potholes

The purpose of your life map is to minimize hasty and spur-of-the-moment decisions that can make you lose your way. But oftentimes our plans are modified along the way due to some inconveniences, delays, and other situations beyond our control. Like in any path, there are turns, detours, and potholes thus; we must anticipate them and adjust accordingly.

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